In this guide, I’m going to show you different ways on how to annoy upstairs neighbors.
My soundproofing journey began a few years ago- 5 years to be precise- when Sam was born. Living in an apartment and a noisy neighborhood was my worst nightmare.
If your upstairs neighbor doesn’t keep things down up there, there are different ways you can reciprocate things.
While I won’t advocate this approach, at times, desperate times call for drastic measures.
Below are different methods on how to annoy upstairs neighbors both illegally and legally.
How to Annoy Upstairs Neighbors Illegally
Disclaimer: I’m not responsible for whatever may happen as a result of implementing the illegal hacks in this section.
You could visit your neighbors and beat the crap out of them.
Break their knee caps, and you won’t ever again complain about footfalls.
You could hire kidnappers to kidnap the neighbors and drive them to another state or country or even make them disappear.
Unfortunately, this isn’t a good idea as you’ll end up spending the rest of your life behind the bar.
Send flying a ball of poop at their door. Unfortunately, they’ll sue you and end up evicted from the premises.
How to Legally Annoy Upstairs Neighbors
If you’d like to become a nightmare to your neighbor without going against the law, then below are some of the most recommended hacks for you.
1. Smear Jelly on their Doorknob
This is one of the most straightforward hacks I’ve tried that made me feel like a creepy mom. Just buy something like Solimo Petroleum Jelly White.
Apply a chunk of jelly on the neighbor’s doorknob when they go out to give the unpleasant surprise when they return.
Not only will this make unpleasant for them, but it will also make it hard for them to turn the knob and get in their apartment.
Make sure that no one else sees you doing this evil thing, or they may snitch on you. Additionally, make sure that you don’t jam the lock you’ll be in for a big surprise.
2. Noise-dispelling motors
According to an article published on South China Morning Post, a noise dispelling motor is a gadget that produces vibrations on the ceiling to rein havoc in noisy upstairs neighbors.
While this is a gadget that has become popular among Chinese flats dwellers, it could help you get even with your noisy neighbors above.
This small device includes a motor, extendable rod, cable, and Wi-Fi remote. It’ll cost you less than $25 bucks.
The devices feature a variety of motors that produce a variety of sounds and are sold by Taobao.com, one of the leading consumer-to-consumer platforms in China.
3. Play tennis/racquetball against their ceiling
If you can’t get your hands on the noise dispelling motors above, I would recommend you to get a racquet or tennis ball and play against your ceiling.
Here is what you should do.
Do a bit of investigation to find out the best time to do so.
The best time to play the racquetball would be at night when they’re asleep and directly against their bedroom floor.
If they give you sleepless nights, why not give them sleepless nights too?
By chance, if they come knocking on your door, tell them you’re practicing for an upcoming competition.
4. Knock at odd times
Everyone indeed hates that ding-dong sound of the doorbell in the middle of the night or early weekend mornings.
But if your neighbors won’t let you sleep, why should you allow the same when for them?
If they don’t often go to work early on Saturdays, then go knocking on their doors early in the morning.
No one likes getting awoken from sleep, especially early mornings.
However, make a genuine excuse when they open the door. Don’t let them suspect that you’re just fooling with them.
5. Play Loud Music
If you want to annoy your upstairs neighbors with sound, here’s what you should do.
Buy a 6-8” speaker driver- a raw speaker without the casing, along spring-loaded shower rod and a small standalone amplifier.
Use the shower road to firmly hold the speaker driver against the ceiling- directly below your neighbors’ bedroom.
If you can’t get your hands on a shower rod, use a transducer, which will help in effective sound transfer.
Either way, make sure the speaker is braced against the ceiling.
Play whatever music you like when your neighbors go to sleep. The speaker will transfer sound nicely to the room upstairs.
However, depending on the materials used to construct the ceiling, the noise could speaker to your side neighbors, resulting in more troubles for you.
6. Loud Sex at Night
I’ve never tried this technique, but I have a strong feeling that it’s has a 50/50 chance of success.
Who knows, you may end up getting even with your noisy neighbors. See this guide on quiet bed frames.
Ways on How You Can Make A Noisy Upstairs Neighbor Quiet
It’s vital to note that the above methods won’t solve your noise problem.
If you want to keep the noise down in your apartment without going the revenge way, here is what you should do.
- Let your neighbors know that they are being noisy. There’s a chance that your neighbors aren’t aware they are being loud. Approach your neighbors and politely let them know that they’re being noisy.
- If you’ve tried the above method and doesn’t seem to work, it’s time to involve the landlord/property manager. Your neighbors will be notified and probably given a warning.
- Soundproof the ceiling- you’d better off soundproofing your room against airborne and structure-borne noises. This is one of the effective methods.
- If you’ve had a chat with neighbors and seem to be friendly people, try and convince them to buy some fluffy and thick carpets as they are known to effectively soundproof against impact noises such as footfalls.
Final Thoughts on How to Annoy Upstairs Neighbors
Above are some of the effective methods on how to annoy upstairs neighbors.
And while revenge may seem like the only option, it’s important to note that it won’t solve anything the noise problem.
If you’d like to deal with the noise problem, consider talking to your neighbors and letting them know they’re being noisy.
You can also involve the property manager or even soundproof your apartment against airborne and impact sounds.